I Love You
by Gabbing Away
Summary: Why Ritsuka can't say the words and why Soubi won't stop
1. Ritsuka

**Ritsuka**

Why Ritsuka can't say the words and why Soubi won't stop

* * *

It was just so much easier to say nothing. If I keep quiet, how could anyone know if they could manipulate and break me or not?

"I love you, Ritsuka."

Three words that could make or break.

"…"

Silence, to keep from getting hurt.

I wonder what Soubi would do if I actually replied, "Soubi, I love you, too." Would he finally stop saying those words? Or would he say it more: try to coax further reciprocation from me? At any rate I prefer not to comment.

"I love you, Ritsuka."

Three words that can revive or kill.

"…"

Silence, to keep him from getting hurt.

I wonder what he would do if I finally replied, "Soubi, I don't love you." Would he finally stop? Or would he keep saying it: trying to finally—finally—entice the acceptance he knew was there into words. There's really only one way to find out right?

"I love you, Ritsuka."

Three word that I adore, and despise, to hear.

"…"

I can't keep hiding, someone's bound to get hurt and I can only hope it's not one of us.

"Soubi, I—"


	2. Soubi

**Soubi**

Why Ritsuka can't say the words and why Soubi won't stop

* * *

I say the words and I mean them, have always meant them. Be it because of Seimei's orders or not. But he still doubts me, them—my words. I can understand his hesitance, whether it's because I don't want to or actually because I don't comprehend is the real question though. He's like a stray cat, he needs love and protection the most but it's the last thing that he actually expects to receive.

"I love you, Ritsuka."

Three words that express how I feel, but don't quite say enough.

"…"

Silence, it really hurts that he won't accept me.

God, I would be so happy if he actually replied, "Soubi, I love you, too." What would it take to get him to say it on his own? What would it take for him to be comfortable with getting what he both wants and needs so desperately? At any rate, it seems to be a moot goal to try to stress my point; Ritsuka remains silent.

"I love you, Ritsuka."

Three words that offer up my soul, but not quite high enough.

"…"

Silence, I'm happy that at least he's not rejecting me. I can't say I would be content if he finally replied, "Soubi, I don't love you," but at lease I'd still be able to be with him, at least I'd finally know. Would he then accept what he knew was there all along?

But, until he works it up in himself to say something to me, I can only wait, and I would wait until the end of time for him

because…

"I love you, Ritsuka."


	3. Ritsuka & Soubi

**Ritsuka & Soubi**

AN: To be perfectly serious, I wasn't going to give a solid, definitive ending to this but… I couldn't help it.

* * *

"I love you."

The words.

They could break and bend and _twist_ the balance of everything that their relationship was, or would be. It hurt him; it made him feel high and light as a feather, depressed and leaden as a stone. He could fly, he could—

He could drop down to the earth at any moment depending on what came out of the boy's mouth.

"…"

The silence.

They could do this dance a million times. Soubi would take it, as long as Ritsuka stayed with him. Ritsuka could take it, as long as he wasn't damaged any further than he already was. But a million was Soubi's limit. They _had_ done this dance a million times, and they were in the middle of a million and one.

"Ritsuka…. _Say_ something."

The unexpected move.

They could resume their little twisted tango of emotional pinball hoop as if nothing out of the ordinary had been said. Or they could make variations of the same tired theme. Ritsuka could take it, he _could_. A million and one times over. Too bad it was a million and two.

"Soubi, I—"

The parry to Soubi's move; a stalemate.

They could hear the beat of each other's hearts as the silence grew tense. They were both tired of the dancing, so dead _tired_ of the games. As long as no one got hurt, they could both be happy with it. But neither was sure what was to come next.

"Soubi… I don't love you."

The big amethyst eyes avert, not in shame or remorse, and a soft blush spreads.

"But I will."


End file.
